Dr. Lindelof or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love “Prometheus” - An Essay I Am Not Quite Ready to Write
Warning: Poorly-organized rambling ahead
Finally got around to seeing Prometheus last night, and I kind of hated it? Talk about a film with absolutely no payoff. I felt NOTHING for the characters. Whatta bunch of assholes. Why are all scientists of the future hipsters? The one guy who thought the snake alien was “cute” kind of looked like Chadd Harbold, so that was somewhat redeeming. But OH MY GOD LOGAN MARSHALL-GREEN WAS AWFUL. Blake thought he was Tom Hardy the whole time, but obviously Tom Hardy would’ve been BETTER because he has an inherent charm to him that transcends the villains he plays. By far, Michael Fassbender was the best part about the movie. I would’ve watched two hours of him just hanging out on the ship, watching movies and playing basketball.
As someone who self-identifies as Catholic (and is generally not averse to material that deals with Christian mythology), I should have enjoyed the film’s overarching themes about creation and identity. HOWEVER, I am also someone who angrily stopped watching LOST halfway through season three because I - like so many others - got frustrated by all of the HOKEY BULLSHIT. I feel like Damon Lindelof’s always overcompensating for lazy storytelling by trying to force greater existential meaning into his work…and it’s always unsatisfying. The “greater meaning” can be more economically expressed? Or at least EARNED? I don’t even knowwwww.
(Sidenote: Apparently, an earlier draft of the Prometheus script had the Engineers wanting to destroy humanity because we killed Jesus…who was ALSO AN ALIEN. This is totally batshit, and I understand why they cut it, but it’s also kind of hilarious, and I would’ve loved to have seen that movie.)
Even if it didn’t feel so thematically overwrought, the movie still had far too many glaring plotholes to overcome (I’m not even going to list them). However, it was absolutely gorgeous - probably one of the best-looking films I’ve ever seen - so kudos on that, Sir Ridley.
Anyway, I began this post by saying “I kind of hated?” the film, and that was definitely meant to be an evolving statement, thus the question mark. I’ve genuinely loved complaining about the film today on G-Chat to people and exchanging theories. In no way does that excuse any of the film’s failures, but I do appreciate the fact that I can’t stop discussing it. I guess this is how all of those bloggers who hate Girls feel?